Never ending guilt

So the guilt continues.  As do the tears.  From.  Me. My kids lives were changed so dramatically.  How do I get over the fact that the kids don’t have their own rooms anymore? That they don’t have a yard to play in?  That they have to switch houses twice a week?  And the days Ducky … More Never ending guilt

Love

So last week, LOML told me that when he was breaking up with a long time girlfriend, many years ago, she screamed at him, “one day I hope you will find true love.” He said he never knew what she meant.  Then he told me he had.   With. Me.  He had never known true … More Love

Savor the Minutes

Last week LOML brought up the fact that we have 40 more years together.  I’m not sure how he came up with that number, but I told him I need to savor the minutes with him.  Especially since we are in a long distance relationship.  I only see him twice a month.  And it’s just … More Savor the Minutes

Hard Week

It’s been a hard week. Yesterday was my last day at my former job.  The job I’ve had for 11 years.  It was very sad.  My boss gave me this and told me to open it later.  When I did it made me cry.  Every time I think about it or see the photo I … More Hard Week

Trying to Get it

It is going to be a sad week.  But I’ll get into that later. So today when one of the instructors I work with said “what?  You’re working THREE jobs and it doesn’t count?” I thought to myself WTF?  It doesn’t make sense.  Yeah, I see how the hours don’t add up to “full time” … More Trying to Get it

Beautiful

I know there is beauty in the way you look at things.  From the positive side of life.  From the delicate angles and how your senses react to your surroundings. LOML is always telling me how beautiful I am.  He said that the first time around too.  When I was young and fit.  I’m now … More Beautiful