As I have found out, family court is not always fair nor is it a pleasant place to go. It is down right depressing.
Last week I was faced with going in front of a family court judge because STBX decided that our kids needed to go to different schools.
Why do ask in a middle of a divorce does he want the kids to change schools?? And after school has started?
He first decided, and shared this thought with other PARENTS last school year, and not me, was that the school was “financially” unfeasible. Hmmmm. The kids are at a *public* school. Yes, it is an alternative school. And yes, parents are asked to donate money each year. Oh, and it’s a parent participation school.
In his mind, I am UNEMPLOYABLE because *I* am required to do volunteer hours at school and for each classroom. *I* will not find a full time job because kids and school will come first. AND this is what will cost money. UGH. He doesn’t do the volunteering and *maybe* drives a field trip or two a year — if I signed him up and coerced him.
So, under stress and worry I went to court. Once again STBX and his attorney refused to negotiate. Ummm, his “compromise” was that our younger child can stay ONLY if I told the school I cannot participate at all in volunteering AND that our son be moved to traditional middle school because he needs “more rigorous” academics. What BS. And yeah, I’m going to throw one child under the bus (the child who always sides with his dad) and let one stay? Ummm NO.
We had to sit through 17 cases until we were heard. Yes, we had a hearing. I was shaking the whole time. Again STBX claimed no one would hire me for full time work if I needed to volunteer (I’ve already made arrangements at the school for a possible reduced schedule this year) AND his new one is both children are failing at math. His reason? Because his mom, a former teacher at a small traditional curriculum private religious school says our son is “behind” at math. Ummmm, the school he is at teaches math a different way than she did. UGH.
Oh — and did I forget to mention that he was trying to say our kids would get a better academic education at MY neighborhood schools? Um, the only reason he knew what schools were my home schools is because (since I suspected cyber/regular stalking I hadn’t given him my address right away) he COERCED our daughter into driving him to my home so he could take pictures. But he is out of the loop so he didn’t know the neighborhood school is OVERFLOWING and not taking new students. Ha!
So after hours of being in the courtroom, we had our case heard. And, yes, to my relief, my children get the stability and nurturing environment of their school this year. The judge also said there is more to school than academics. It was unsaid but I was told by my attorney that the judge inferred that they should stay until 8th grade. Big sigh of relief.
Oh — well and the other “little victory?” Well this one is personal — I said a silent cheer. Um, maybe several silent cheers. STBX’s info was found on TWO AM leak sites. Ha! Although I was almost 100% sure the info would be there (there were all those times he left his desktop open or iPad at home there were emails from AM users) my suspicions were confirmed.
“And I’ll be awful sometimes. Weakened to my knees. But I’ll learn to get by. On the little victories.” — Matt Nathanson
Again, I’m relishing the little things. The little victories.