I am Labeled

I read this somewhere not too long ago.  That couples going through a divorce become labeled as “difficult” because they can’t come to agreements on their custody stipulation.  When in fact it is because one party nit picks and keeps changing their mind.  Or doing things to make it difficult for the other.  Or can’t agree to certain terms in the stipulation which have been part of the everyday. This is my case.

It just boggles my mind that a father would deny his children of what they are asking to do because of revenge or spite for the other party.  My STBX has refused to take the kids to swim practice.  First it was it was “inconvenient” (kids swam at different times – so he talked to the coach and had them swim at the same time).  Then it was “too far” (he was staying with his brother).  Then came “we are moving it’s too chaotic.”  Finally it is “NO.”  No reason.  This is after he told the kids he would take them after he moved.  And after he told them he would talk to the coach about changing them to the same group AFTER their summer camp was over.   They have now given up on asking him and my son doesn’t even bring his gear to his dad’s house.

This makes me so sad.  They are both very good swimmers with lots of potential.

So we are in disagreement about extracurricular activities.  And we are labeled “difficult.”  We were practically “fired” from mediation because STBX would not cooperate and would argue through each session.  We were told through all their years as mediators they had never had a couple go so long through mediation and not complete it (except one with lots of assets, which took time).  STBX said the mediators were “biased.”  That is telling.

So off to our first court date this week (pushed off 4 mos. because STBX has been difficult).  This is only for support (he has not produced all of his documents to date AND he doesn’t want to pay me anything) so I’m sure it’s going to be a disaster.

I am still attached to “difficult.”

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