Over a year ago I had this “aha” moment.
I had been so unhappy for so long. Feeling stuck. Feeling like my life was unfulfilling — other than my role as a mother.
One day, probably just over a year before this, I decided that I needed to start taking care of myself. So I decided I was going to start running. Slowly, very slowly. But I really needed this more intense exercise. Body and mind.
My fitness journey started that day.
Back to the “aha” moment. So I was running one day – a time that I think and process – and I came up with the four areas of my life that I was unhappy and unfulfilled. The first was fitness/weight. Well that one was in process. I had decided that I was going to get fit and I had decided to swim at Masters Nationals. So that one was moving forward. Second was my current relationship/marriage. It was a mess. Third was my career. But this one I knew I could put on hold; I was fine with what I was doing and I had time to work on that. Finally, I felt I had no passion in my life. Passion for life and *real* passion within me. And no love. I think I had given up on love.
Fast forward to today. The year has been a year of change; a roller coaster of emotions. A year of joy and sorrow. Guilt and doubt. But here I am. I’ve been told I’ve come a long way. That I’m stronger. But what I really feel is that I have found *me* again. I have reached back inside of my soul and rediscovered me. It took over 20 years – but I have come full circle (more about that later).
And that list? I reordered it. Well number one — I swam at Masters Nationals and competed for the first time in about ten years. I made my weight goal (although I have to put some work into it now!!) and this year I’ve struggled to squeeze workouts in, but I can say it’s checked off! Two — I decided that I needed to end that relationship. So this one is in process (more later – UGH). Three — I found passion! In more ways that one. It is a circle back too (more another time!) Four — Career — it is still a work in process and I am OK with it.
Deciding. That is what makes change in oneself. Deciding to move forward; deciding to become unstuck.